Carrie's Wonderland
by mariliv
Summary: When Carrie's heart is broken by Sebastian and her best friend, she begins to doubt everything. But now that they have broken up and she shows up to say sorry, will Carrie accept it and forgive them both? Or will something else happen? (I am so sorry for any spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy it!) Some characters are based on the book. Rated T for language.
1. Live With The Choices You Make

Disclaimer: I do not own The Carrie Diaries nor the characters. I'm just a crazy girl having fun by writing about it.

Note: Some of the characters are based on the book: Lali, who is Carrie's best friend, and Peter, who is Maggie's boyfriend. It was with him that Maggie cheated on Walt.

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the fic and let's start! x

* * *

**Chapter 1**  
**Live With The Choices You Make**

It's a Saturday morning and I have been awake for about 20 minutes. I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about Sebastian... Or should I say Se-bastard.  
I've been telling Maggie and The Mouse that I don't care about the fact that Sebastian is dating my (ex)best friend Lali. But now that they broke up I feel good and bad at the same time. Good because she got what she deserved. But bad because above all of this, she was my best friend for as long as I can remember. And she is suffering. A lot.

"Carrie?" says Dorrit, bursting into my room, interrupting my thoughts "Lali is here. She wants to talk to you."

"Tell her I'm not. Tell her I went for a run or something."

"We all know that Carrie Bradshaw doesn't run" says Lali, opening my room door and pushing Dorrit, who leaves.

"Well, we all know that best friends don't steal each others boyfriends" I say while I get up and dress and old blue robe with white polka dots which belonged to my mother. "Oh wait... What do you want Lali?"

"I came here to do what is right."

_Oh really? Why? Did you realized something? That Donna LaDonna and the Jens are not actually your friends? That Sebastian doesn't love anything besides him and his red porsche? Or that now that you are all alone you miss me and our friends?_ I dared myself to say.  
I opened my mouth, ready to talk but... I can't do it. Nothing comes out of my mouth. Not even a little awkward sound. I just stood there, looking at her. I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting _her_. At all.

"I miss you Carrie. I don't know what I was thinking when I made out with him. I was a fool and what I did was childish." She says while her eyes start to get watery. "I-I-I am so sorry," And then, she just burst into tears.

My first thought was to hug and comfort her, but I resist it by turning around and staring at my reflection on the big white window of my room.

"Please... Say something" her voice is shaky and low. Like she really regrets what she has done. "Anything."

"Is this some kind of joke?" I say as I turn around and face her.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? I mean that you can't just stab me in the back like that and then just show up in my house begging for forgiveness. You made your choice. You chose him over me and all of our friends. You said you loved him. You left me." I say resisting the urge to cry.

"I said I am sorry. What am I supposed to do?" She wipes the tears off her face. "I can't erase my mistakes or act like nothing as ever happened between us!"

I took a few steps and stopped next to the door.

"I think you should leave." I say, opening it.

She takes three steps and she is out of my room. When I'm about to close the door she turns. "Are you sure?"  
I look at her and her face. Her big eyes are staring at me waiting. Waiting for an answer.

"Did you did it with him?" I ask suddenly.

I caught her off guard and she freezes. _She did._

"It what?" She asks like she doesn't have a clue of what I am saying.

"Don't. Just.. Don't. Don't make me say it."

"Carrie..." She drops her bag on the hall floor and she tries to enter my room again.

Wrong answer Lali... Wrong answer.

"I am so sorry, I..."

I close the door while she was trying to explain herself. I can't believe it. They dated for 3 months. I never thought she was going to be this easy. Did they did it while I was still dating him? No. They can't have. No, no, no.  
A tear runs down my cheek, but I wipe it before it reaches my upper lip. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I must not cry. I must not... Another tear drops. But this time, it hits the floor.

"NO!" I scream.

I walk around in my room and I stop by the window. And one more time, I stare at my reflection.

"Is everything alright, honey?" My father says, opening the door.

"Yes dad." I'm lying.

"You screamed. Are you sure?"

"Yes dad. I just... I... I found a hole in mom's robe. Not too much of a deal." I'm lying. Again. And I don't take the eyes of my reflection.

"Well... If you say so." He says and closes the door.

- x -

"So, basically, she is a bitch" Maggie says.

"Well... Yea." I say smirking. This is what I love about Maggie.

"How could she?" The Mouse says, in shock. "You were there for her for years. I agree with Maggie on this one."

The Mouse was with me when I found out that Sebastian was cheating on me with Lali. She was the one who drove me home and took care of me in that moment.  
We were all at The Emerald, the bar. After Lali left my house, I spent a couple of hours trying to digest what happened by myself when I realized I needed my friends. So, I got dressed and called The Mouse, asking her to meet me at The Emerald. She called Maggie and Walt, but Walt was working and he couldn't make it here.  
I ordered the usual, a Singapore Sling, which comes with a tiny umbrella and fruit. I was so nervous I broke the wooden umbrella.

"Well, I need to use the restroom." The Mouse says as she gets up and leaves our table.

"What Lali did was so not cool."

"I know. What can I do about that? She did it. With him. They did it. Together. They probably did it while I was still dating him." I said with my head down.

"I don't believe it."

"Maggie, I didn't believe that she could steal my boyfriend either. I would have believed it, if she was Donna LaDonna. But I mean... It was Lali. My best friend."

"You have a point there... But remember. EX best friend"

I look away and I spot The Mouse. She is walking really fast and she looks over her shoulder. She comes up to us and says "Girls. We need to leave."

"Now?" Maggie asks.

"Now."

"Why?" I ask her.

"Because..." She stops for a while and looks over her shoulder. Again. "I'll tell you when we get out of here."

Me and Maggie got up and I grabbed my Carrie purse. We get out of The Emerald and right in front of the door I spot it. The Red Porsche. Which belongs to... Sebastian.  
I freeze. Was that the reason we left?

"Mouse!" I shout.

"Carrie, get in the car." She was holding the door of her father's car. "I'll explain it to you as soon as we left."

"Mouse, I'm serious."

"Me too. Please Carrie."

I get in the car and buckle my seatbelt.

"Was it because he was inside?" I ask while I look out the window and stare at the Porsche."You can tell me."

"He? He who? Sebastian? Oh god, no. It was Lali. She was at the bathroom. I don't think she saw me."

Wait... If Lali was in there, and Sebastian car's outside it means that he is also inside. Maybe they are together again. No. That can't be. She caught her making out with her sister. If I caught him with Dorrit, I would never ever ever forgive him. Lali was my best friend, she was like a sister. But she is not a real sister. That would have been so much worse. I can't even believe what she is going through.

"A penny for you thoughts, Carrie"

"What?" I asked Maggie.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"Oh... I wasn't thinking about anything."

"Yes you were. I know you."

"It just... Never mind." I look away. And Maggie just nods. I'm glad she didn't insisted too much.

* * *

Well, this was it for the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!  
I am so sorry if there is any spelling mistake. If you found one, please let me know!

And oh, review :)

Love, liv xx


	2. Boiling Water

**Chapter 2:**  
**Boiling Water**

"_Two more weeks_" I think to myself when I'm arriving to school "_Two more weeks and you are on summer break. And then, you will never have to see Sebatian, Lali, Donna or the Jens ever again. The perks of being a senior!" _

"What kind of girl steals another girl's boyfriend?" says Donna LaDonna when walking next to me, to her new boyfriend Tommy.

"What? We were talking about the basketball match next week. I never understand girls..." Tommy sighs.

"Oh, shut up."

I've forgotten the fact that Donna LaDonna was dating Sebastian before I did. Which makes me her Lali. Except that I was never her friend. And she basically dates everything that has a heart.

"Carrie!"

"Hey Walt." I smile

"Are you ok? Mouse called me on Saturday to meet you guys. She said you were sad."

"Oh, that. Nevermind."

"You can tell me."

"There is nothing to say. Lali showed up at my house and apologized."

"For real?" He was shocked.

"That's not the worst part. They did it."

"It?!" He was even more shocked now.

"Tell me about it. Ugh."

"I know what you are feeling." He says.

He opens his arms and hugs me. I love Walt's hugs. They are so sincere.

"Don't look to your left. Bastard alert."

I don't want to look, but I have to.  
I turn my head and look at him. He is walking trough the main door of our school. He shakes his head and his dark blonde hair moves. His lips start doing a round line, called smile. I miss his lips. I miss his smile. I miss his hugs. I miss him. A lot.

"Sebastian..." I sighed

"Stop drooling"

"But Walt, even his walk is hot..."

"I agree." This was Donna. She was passing by at that second. How does she does this?

"Did I said this out loud?" I asked Walt. And he nods. "Oh god. Let's get out of here"

_Too late._

Donna hugs Sebastian, and gives him two kisses. One in each cheek, leaving a red mark, made by her lipstick, in each one. She whispers something to his ears and he lifts his head looking for someone. Me. He was looking for me. I start walking, trying to escape the hallway before his eyes meet mine. But The Jens were right next to me and one of them pushes me. My books star falling on the floor, making most of the people stop. _Oh no... _I look up and I lock my eyes with Sebastian's. He winks, turns, and leaves. And I turn bright red. This can't be happening again.

"_Carrie, remember. He broke your heart once. He'll have no problems in doing the same thing again_." I think to myself.

"Don't even say a word about this." I warn Walt.

I pick up my books and leave.  
How can I put up with two more weeks?

– x –

I change myself into my swimwear. I need to swim. It's the only way I can feel free these days. When I am in the water, no one can tell me what to do. I am on my own.  
I approach the edge of the pool and dive. The touch of the cold water against my skin makes me feel great. I think this was probably the high point of my entire month.

After about a couple of minutes, I get out of the pool because I'm having math in the next period. And I don't know exactly why, but I look over to the bleachers and Sebastian is there. All by himself. Just staring at me. I can feel my cheeks turning red. What can a teen like me do in this situation? Go over to the bleachers and talk to him, start running or...

_Splash._

I dived.  
Again.  
But I think this was the worst dive I ever did in my entire life. I didn't even thought about this, I just jumped. Why do I keep embarrassing myself? I should probably start working on my emergency exits. This is getting way to awkward. Even for me.

"Do you think I can get in the pool too? Or will I make the water boil?"

I think my heart just skipped a beat.  
I turn around and there he is. Sebastian.  
I'm speechless.

"I always thought that blood was the definition of red. Not your cheeks." He says playfully. And I smirk.

_Why are you so pale? Stop smiling, Carrie._

I swim a couple of meters until I reach the edge of the pool. I grab it, and get myself out of the water and Sebastian hands me a towel, which I wrap around my body. I glance at the door and try to mentally estimate the time that takes me to run those 25 meters without Sebastian catching me. But then it hits me. I can't run from him forever. I have to face him, like I faced Lali two days ago.

I turn and look straight in his eyes.

"I... You... Why... Wh.." I can't speak. What the hell. I take a deep breath and open my mouth. "Hi." I finally say.

"Hi? This is a relief. I must be suicidal or something. I came here without thinking, and when you saw me, I thought you were going to slap me to death or something." He laughed.

He thought I was going to slap him? Maybe that was what he deserved for cheating on me. Wait. He cheated on me! What am I still doing here, talking to him?

"Well, maybe that was what I should have done when I had a chance."

Did I really just said this? To him? Whoa. My inner goddess patted me in the back.  
I picked up my things and left.

"You threw books at my car when you found out about Lali. I think that was enough."

I ignore him. I have to, otherwise, I'll end up saying things I don't want to.

– x –

"May I?" I say, knocking in the wooden door. I'm late to math. Thank you Sebastian.

After I said sorry to the teacher, for being late, I sat on my chair and opened my books. The class started without problems, until Sebastian started whispering to me.

"Carrie?" He said, with his lowest voice. "Carrie?"

I ignored him.

"Carrie?" He repeated. "Oh sweet mother of god. Carrie?" He said. But this time, with his normal voice.

"Sebastian?" The teacher asked. "Is there anything you'd like to share with your classmates?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just trying to borrow a pen." He smiled and glanced at me. "Carrie, could you please?"

"Sorry, I don't have any extra." I said, lying. I always have lots of pens.

"I'll lend you one" said someone else in our class. But Sebastian rejected it. He said he would just use his pencil.

The teacher kept on writing in the board, and Sebastian kept calling me.

"Carrie?" he said with his voice low, again.

"What?" I finally said.

"I need to talk to you. I want to fix this."

"Not now."

"When?"

"Never? There is nothing to fix." I muttered

"Carrie, please..."

"Look, I'm trying to learn something useful here." _Nice one! You are getting better at this._ And once again, my innes goddess patted me in the back.

I thought this would make him shut up, but it didn't.

"Carrie. I really need to fix this up"

"Why?"

"Because..." He sighed. "Look. We can't talk here. Wait for me after..."

"No."

"Why?"

"Carrie, could you finish the rest of the equation?" The teacher said.

"It'll be my pleasure." I said, as I got up and took the chalk out of his hands.

Equations are easier to solve than boys heads. Especially Sebastian's.

* * *

I know this was a very small chapter, and I am not happy about that.  
Oh well... I promise, the next one will be bigger!

Love, liv x


	3. Slamming Doors

**Chapter 3**  
**Slamming Doors**

"Carrie!" Mouse called as soon as we left the class. "Wait for me!"

I was walking really fast to avoid meeting Sebastian.

"What's up Mouse?" I said, still walking fast.

"Seth called me yesterday."

"He what?"

"He said he missed me and asked me if I wanted to have a coffee with him." She grinned "He also said he wanted to do a little catching up... Today."

"Are you going?" I snort "I mean, you going for a coffee with Seth is almost the same as if I went for a coffee... " I paused for a second, trying to choose the best person to say "... with Lali."

"Well, yeah. That is why I am here. Maggie is with Peter and I don't want to ask Walt for advice."

"Why not Walt? I think he understands boys way better than we both do. Anyways, I think I should get going. I'm trying to run away. But, in my opinion, choose. Between your head and your heart." I gave her a kiss on her left cheek, winked and turned.

I love Mouse, but I really need to go home. I mean... I really need to run from Sebastian. If he sees me, I'm doomed.

I'm almost on the main door of the school when I realize the school is almost over and I have to start taking home the things on my locker. Last year, I waited until the last day, and I had to walk home with a huge pile of books. I ended up getting bruises on my arms because they were so heavy. I promised myself, that this year, I'd take them a bit earlier.

I took a deep breath and turned around, facing the hallway again.  
I started walking slowly, watching every corner carefully before taking another step. _I wish I was a ninja. _I thought to myself.  
I was doing really well, or at least I thought so. No signs of Donna or Sebastian. I didn't even cared about Lali.

I arrived to a corner and I grabbed the wall. I cocked my head out slightly. And there were still no signs of them. I breathe a sigh of relief as I took a chunk of hair and placed it behind my ear.

"I don't even want to ask what you are doing." A voice behind me said and my eyes widened.

"Hello Sebastian." I turned. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" I said sarcastically.

"Very funny, Bradshaw." He rolled his eyes. "Why did you run away from me?"

"I wasn't running away. Mouse had to talk to me."

He looked around. "And where is she?" He asked.

"Obviously, anywhere but here." For seconds, I wished I was her.

I headed to my locker and he followed me.

"Bradshaw." He said softly.

"Kydd?" I said playfully. _Stop it, Carrie._

"I'm serious."

"Since when did you became serious?" I asked, my mouth was open, shaping an O. I wanted to seem surprised.

He ignored me.

"Look." he grinned "The senior prom is in one week and a half."

My eyes wanted to widen, and my mouth wanted to drop open. But I controled myself. Is he inviting me to prom? Is Sebastian Kydd inviting me to prom? And I am about to say no?_ Someone pinch me._

He took a long pause, waiting for something to come out of my mouth.

I opened my locker and took out a couple of books.  
He sighed.

"Is it fine if I go with Donna?"

I slammed the door of the locker.

I tried to hide the deception in my expression, but I think I failed miserably. His he asking me for permission?

"Why are you asking me? I couldn't care less." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, it's obvious that you are still into me" He also shrugged.

I widened my eyes in shock.

"Excuse me? I... I... I what?"

"Come on Carrie. Admit it."

"I won't admit something that is not true!" I shouted. "Now, if you'll excuse, I have somewhere else to be. And it doesn't envolve _you_."

"Bradshaw!" He shouted. But I was far enough to pretend I couldn't him. What a jerk.

-x-

I arrived home earlier than I expected. I stopped by Mouse's house, but no one was home. I think she accepted the coffee invite from Seth.  
I also stopped by Maggie's house, but her father said she was out with her boyfriend Peter.  
I also tried reaching Walt, but his mother said he went to the hairdresser's.

After I closed the door, I headed right to the kitchen, where Dorrit and one of her weird looking friend were at. They stopped talking as soon as they saw me.

"Pretend I am not here" I said. But Dorrit just rolled her full-of- smudged-black-eyeliner eyes.

I opened the fridge looking for peanut butter.

"Dorrit? Did you ate the peanut butter?"

She nodded her head no and I saw the peanut butter in front of her.

"So why is it in front of you?"

"Because Jen was the one who was eating it." She rolled her eyes. Again. She stood up and went upstairs, along with Jen.

Jen was her friend. I never heard of a Jen until now. She is a very tall girl, with long black hair, which is shaved in one side of her head. She had a thin nose, full lips and her cheeks were full of freckles. Each one of her eyes had a thick winged black line of eyeliner on them, and her lips were painted with a dark red lipstick. She was dressed with a tiny grey dress, with net tights underneath it and she were also wearing studded black combat boots. I have to admit, inside of Dorrit's friend group, she was the one who dressed the best. And I didn't even liked the outfit.

I opened one cabinet and took out a pack of crackers which I placed in a white plate with a light yellow stripe. I opened another cabinet and took a glass which I filled with orange juice. I also grabbed a knife and the peanutbutter and placed it all on a metal tray that I carried to my room.

I placed the tray on my bed and felt like painting my nails. I headed to the dresser, where I usually store my nail polishes but I couldn't find the one I was looking for. _Dorrit..._

I headed to Dorrit's room and I opened the door without knocking.

"Dorrit, where is m-" my mouth dropped open. "Are you girls smoking?!"

Dorrit quickly stood up, trying to hide the cigars while Jen opened the windows.

"Jeez Carrie. You also smoke with your friends."

"Well, I'm older than you! And I never entered the house with a cigarette!"

"And? You are just jealous because I have friends to do stuff with me, while you are here alone eating peanut butter sandwiches all by yourself."

"Jealous? How d-" I was interrupted by the doorbell. I smirked "I hope it's dad."

"I hope it's Donna." She shot.

"Donna? Have you been listening to my phone calls? You littl-" The doorbell rang again. I slammed her bedroom door and went downstairs.

I opened the door. It was Walt.

"Hi there. My mom told me you wanted to see me." He said smiling.

"Oh Walt!" I hugged him. "I'm so glad you are here."

He hugged me back and we both went to my room.

"I'll be right back." I said to him. I went to Dorrit's bedroom and opened the door. The room was empty. "What the..." I went downstairs again and opened the red door which leads to the street. I spotted her and Jen a couple of meters away from the door. "In case you were wondering" I shouted "A friend of mine, came by!"

I slammed the door shut.

"Teenagers" I rolled my eyes, entering my room again.

"Tell me about it. I have brothers. Ugh." He said. "So... Tell me"

"Tell you what?"

"I know you have something to tell me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have stopped by my house after school."

"Sebastian thinks I still like him" I said.

"Don't you?"

"No!"

"Carrie. Come on." He said giving me a look.

"Ok, yes I do. But I mean, he shouldn't know it" I said as I layed flat on my back.

He opened the pack of crackers and made a peanutbutter sandwich with it.

"I hate straight guys" he sighed

"Me too!" I said laughing.

"Ohhh!" I said loudly as I sat on the bed. "He is asking Donna to the prom, and he asked me for permission. Can you believe it?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"He is trying to make you jealous." He said.

"No, he isn't." I said, taking a sip of my juice.

As Walt rambled about Sebastian being jealous, I painted my nails.

"Want to come to the prom with me?" he asked.

"Sure." I smiled "I don't know about you, but I have a feeling that this prom is going to be remarkable to all of us."

"Same." He nodded in agreement "But hey, promise me something. We'll take the best couple photo that Castleberry High as ever seen."

"I promise" I say as we high-fived in the hair.


	4. Clumsy Bradshaw

**Chapter 4**  
**Clumsy Bradshaw**

It was a cold a bitter morning and I went to the pool with Dorrit to train my dives when she shoved me to the water. Or at least I thought she did. I mean, it was Dorrit I was talking about.  
I cleaned my eyes to see her properly and I was surprised. It wasn't Dorrit who was standing in front of me. It was shirtless Sebastian.

_Oh my..._ I repeatedly thought while admiring his body.

I didn't say a thing, I just stared at him in the same way he was staring at me.

Slowly, and without taking his eyes out of mine, he took of his pants and threw them to the same place his shirt was: the bleachers.  
He was now with his light yellow swimming attire.

Diving, he entered the water and his hands met my legs as he grabbed them underwater. Then, he stood up, and leaving only his neck out of water he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him.  
I was so close to him, that I could hear his breath and feel his heat.  
I felt strange, and I knew I shouldn't be there. I knew I should push him and go home. But I couldn't move. It was like I was trapped and my brain had frozen.

He raised his right arm, and with the back of his hand he caressed my cheek.

Something was wrong. I knew it. This wasn't the Sebastian I knew and once dated. What happened?

"Seb-" I tried to ask.

"Shhh." He said seductively

He was drawing patterns on my cheek with his thumb, when he pulled me even closer to him. Our lips touched slightly and he smirked.  
A part of wanted to shove him and leave but the other wanted to stay there and embrace the moment.  
In a sudden move he kissed me, and I kissed him back without thinking twice.  
I missed this, I missed him, I missed his kisses. A lot.

"What the hell is this?" I heard a voice saying but I didn't care. I was kissing Sebastian, nothing mattered more at that moment.

"Carrie? Are you listening to me?" The voice said again. "CARRIE!"

I woke up on the floor of my bedroom with my father screaming.

"What is it dad?" I asked a little dizzy, recovering from my dream.

"What the hell-" He said, pointing at Walt "-Is this?"

My eyes widen when I saw Walt lying right next to me. He was shirtless, and he had a blanket covering him from the waist down. I laughed as I noted he looked like he was naked. _Wait... It looks like he IS naked!_

I glanced at my dad for half a second, and in a single but accurate move I took the blanket away from Walt.

"He is dressed, dad. See?" I said, trying to make the situation a little better.

"Why is he here?" My dad asked quite nervous.

I looked at Walt and he woke up.

"God Carrie, turn of that radio of yours. It is quite annoying." He said, turning around trying to fell asleep again.

"Walt... It's my dad." I whispered.

He looked at me with his eyes well opened, glanced at my dad and looked to me again.

He got up quickly and tried to explain my dad why was he on my room shirtless at the same time he was looking for his shirt. When he found it, he dressed himself, picked his shoes and walked until he reached the door. He did the handshake sign to my dad who just looked at him, red as a tomato.

"Well... Hm... See you at school, Carrie." He said leaving my room. "Bye."

A couple of second later I heard the front door.

"Why did a guy stormed out of the house with his shoes on his hands?" Dorrit said as she walked into my room.

"Dorrit, leave." My father said.

"But dad-"

"Leave."

"Fine." She said giving me a look.

_Oh boy... I'll have a lot of explaining to do._

Dorrit left and closed the door.

"Carrie, you are eldest. You should know how to behave yourself." He started. "I thought I could trust you. I never thought I would have to check if were sleeping when I arrived home after work. You know my rules, boys are not allowed in your room. No sleepovers unless I say otherwise. I was expecting this, coming from Dorrit, not from you. I thought I could..."

He kept rambling about this for a long period of time. I love my dad, I really do. But sometimes he can be so over protective. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to be a good daughter, but I am also a teen. I can't be perfect all the time.

"...drugs and alchool. You still live under my roof, Carrie. I can't allow you and Dorrit to do everything you girls want. I've had your age once you know? Yes. Your old man, once was 17. Believe it or not, it is true. I know what it feels..."

"Dad?" I said.

"... but you have to understand that actions have consequences an-"

"DAD?" I said, raising my voice.

"Don't you raise your voice at me, young lady." He said dryly.

"I am sorry dad. I really am. I have school today. Can I please take a shower and go?"

"Honey, you know I love you right? You know I wouldn't be so harsh on you, if I didn't love you?"

"I love you too, dad. Can I go?" I asked trying to make a cute face.

"Yes you can." I hugged him and went to the bathroom. "Don't think I've forgotten. You are grounded."

"I am what?" I said raising an eyebrow, as I opened the bathroom door.

"Grounded. You still disobeyed me. You can't go out for two weeks."

"Two weeks? Dad that is until the end on the year!"

"You heard me right." He said, touching my nose and leaving.

_Arghhh, this is so unfair. Walt is gay, how can someone ground me for sleeping in the same bed as a gay guy._ I tought as I smiled. _I love Walt._

- x –

"Good morning, everyone" I said, arriving to school. Maggie, her boyfriend Peter and Mouse were standing near my locker. "Isn't Walt here yet?" I said while I gave a kiss on Maggie's cheek.

"No." The Mouse answered. "I stopped by his house yesterday. We were supposed to study together after my non-date with Seth, which, by the way, went pretty good. For a non-date, that is. But his mother said we wasn't there."

"He was with me. We kind of fell asleep together."

"What did your father said?" Peter asked.

"What didn't he say..." I sighed "I'm grounded for two weeks."

"Uh, hard." Maggie said. "Does it includes the prom or..."

The prom. I've completely forgotten about the prom. I didn't even heard half of what my father said. I was recovering from my amazing slash awful dream with Sebastian. Which by the way, I should have known I was dreaming, I mean... His real body looks nothing compared to his body version my dream. Nothing.

"Hm, hey guys.. Aaah.. Carrie? Can I talk with you for a sec?" A girl said, touching my shoulder. I turned and she was... Lali.

Nice. This was just what I needed.

"Well Lali, you see... I'm a little busy here... Maybe hm... Some other time?" I said trying to be polite.

"Excuse us, for a moment." Maggie said, grabbing my arms and pulling me aside. "Go with her."

"Earth to Maggie? It is Lali."

"So what?"

"Maggie..."

"Carrie..." she joked

"Maggie, I am serious."

"So am I! Carrie, you need to talk to her"

"Why? Name one reason."

"She was your bestfriend for years."

"Who stole my boyfriend."

"Carrie, look." Maggie sighed "We all feel strange without her. Don't you? I mean, she was part of the group for ages."

"She was an horrible best friend. I can't forgive her." I took a deep breath. "At least for now."

"Just try. I'm not telling you to forgive her, I'm just telling you to try. We all know it's hard for you. And it might be hard for her as well."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't. But I sure want to."

With that said, I hugged her. I wouldn't try this for myself. But I'm going to try it for Maggie. If she is asking me, it is important for her.

"Lali?" I called. "I can't really talk right now because I need to head to class. But, you want to meet me... I don't know. At the dinner maybe?"

"After school?" she smiled.

"Yes, after school." I smiled as well. It was a forced smile, but I did it anyway. I couldn't be the one not to. "Oh wait, no. Can it be tomorrow morning? We'll have breakfast there. I'm kind of grounded right now." I said walking backwards.

"Tomorrow it is, then." She smiled. Again. And I smiled. Again. As well.

_Well, this is kind of getting weird, now._ I thought.

And as I turned I hit something... Hard. I lead my hand to my nose and rubbed it gently. I opened my eyes slowly to see what was it that I hit.

"Bradshaw." Sebastian smirked. "Clumsy Bradshaw."

"Oh, hey. I didn't saw you there..."

"I know you didn't." He said, still holding that beautiful smile of his in his lips. Those soft lips which I kissed earlier this morning on my dream slash nightmare. I blushed slightly and hoped he didn't notice.

"Well, I really enjoy our small hallway talks, but I need to go to class. So, yea... Bye." I said and tried to leave, but he grabbed my arm.

"Do you really?"

"Do I really what?"

"Do you really enjoy our little chats here?" He asked.

"Well, in mat... Hm... Well, I don't real... I... Ah... Kind of... Someti..."

"Shhh" He said. Just like in my dream.

_Oh god. Is this the part where I run right?_

I started to feel heat coming out of my cheeks. I was blushing too much.

"Don't yell at me, you don't need to."

"Was I yelling? Sorry..."

"I like when you blush. You look cute." He said softly in my ear. He then let go out of my arm and left.

"Thank you... I guess..." I murmured as I walked to class.

* * *

I actually hated this chapter. I was not feeling inspired at all, but I felt like I needed to update the story.  
Anyways, I hope you liked it.

liv x


	5. Messed up Lipstick

**Chapter 5**  
**Messed up Lipstick**

"How can he be... so... bipolar..." I said to Maggie after explaining what happened earlier.

I was panting slightly, due to the effort I was making by running and talking at the same time. We were in PE, doing the warmup. We had so far, ran 1 out of the 3 laps around the field.

"What's up with... him? Didn't he... told you... the other day about... him going with... Bitchy Donna... to prom?"

"Bradshaw, Landers, more running, less talking!" Our teacher yelled and Maggie rolled her eyes.

"He did! I don't understand him..." We had now finished our second lap.

"Guys... Will we ever understand them?" she emphasized the word _ever._

"I don't know about that,... but I do know... that I am going to win!" I said, as I sprinted out of the place I was.

"Ohh, nuh-uh you won't!" she yelled, sprinting as well.

I ran as fast as I could and as fast as my feet and legs let me, trying to finish the lap before her. The field is big and the faster I ran, the heavy my breath was.

My mouth started to get dry and my legs started to hurt.

I glanced briefly above my shoulder and Maggie was right behind me.

"AHHHH" she squealed as she passed me and won our little race "IN YOUR FACE, BRADSHAW!"

"That's not fair!" I crossed my arms and snorted like a little kid "You have longer legs!"

"Hey! You were the one who wanted to run like this!"

"Well, yea! I thought I was going to win!" I threw my nose in the air, still crossing my arms.

"You are such a bad loser, Carrie!" She grinned "How come I never met that side of you before?"

"Bad loser? I am not a bad loser!"

"Of course. And I'm a virgin! - OW!" I shoved her in a friendly way.

_- x -_

It was now 12:57am which only meant one thing: LUNCH!

The "gang" was standing in the lunch line, waiting for their turns. And as the "gang" I meant Maggie, Mouse, Walt and Peter.

Today's lunch was carrot soup, mashed potatoes with chicken and green salad. The dessert was strawberry jelly or a piece of fruit.

"Well, hello you all!" I said, arriving after my way-too-long shower after PE.

"Carrie!" Walt started. "I am so sorry about this morning. I panicked when I saw the look in your father's eyes."

"You did good. If you stood ten more minutes in my room, he would have eaten you alive."

Peter laughed.

"I mean it."

"If her father looked at you, the same way he looked at me, you'd pee your pants." Walt said to Peter. "He was furious!"

"By the way, what were you doing in her house?" Mouse asked.

"In short, I was the one friend that wasn't busy when she needed someone to talk to."

Both Mouse and Maggie's head turned to me.

"Well... You" I pointed at Mouse "were with Seth. And you" I pointed at Maggie "were with Peter."

"And you" Peter pointed at me "need a boyfrien-" Peter couldn't finish his sentence because Maggie shoved him saying he needed to shut up.

When Peter recovered from the shove he had received he grabbed a wooden tray out of the pile of trays and proceeded to place plates of food on it, muttering profanities under his breath.

"What did you needed, Carrie?" Mouse asked shyly.

"I'll talk to you both later. Who know who'll be earing." I said rolling my eyes as I spotted the Jens quite near us.

"Uh, Bipolar Bastard?"

"How'd you guess, Mags." I said raising my tray full of food and starting to walk towards our table.

As I approached the table, I saw Sebastian walking towards the lunch line. Our eyes met for a brief second and that was all it took for him to wink at me which almost made me trip.

"That is getting serious." Walt whispered at me as he placed his tray on the table.

"What?" I sat down.

"Exactly." He grinned.

Peter was on the right corner of the table and Walt in front of him. I sat beside Walt.

"Peter, my love!" Maggie said, placing her tray besides Peter's and in front of mine. "You'll have to wear emerald-green tie or bow or whatever you are wearing with your suit, for the prom."

"I thought it was red you were wearing! I don't have anything green." He rolled his eyes. "Why do we have to match, anyways?"

Maggie whispered something to his left ear, which made his eyes widen. He grinned at her, and placed a peck on her lips.

"Gross." Mouse said, arriving with her tray in her hand, sitting on my left side.

Maggie merely sticked her tongue out.

"Talking about prom" Walt started "What are you going to do about it, Carrie?"

"I don't know, I have to ask my dad."

"Is it even legal for a parent to forbid they kids to go to prom?" Maggie said, leading her fork full with mashed potatoes into her mouth.

Walt face palmed himself, Mouse laughed and Peter rolled his eyes.

Unconscious of what I was doing, I quickly glanced over Maggie's shoulder. I didn't realize what I was looking for until I saw Sebastian.

He was two tables away from ours, placing a chunk of bread in his mouth, which caused his lips to be white because of the flour the bread had. Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed his chin and some full red lips kissed his. My eyes widened and the smile I didn't even know I had on disappeared. It was Donna.

Maggie turned around and followed my gaze.

"I need to use the lady's room." She stood up, blocking my view which made me recover my senses. "Carrie, will you come with me?"

She had a fake smile on her lips.

I stood up and followed her to the bathroom. She opened the door and two freshman girls were putting on some mascara.

"Move" Maggie snapped her fingers. The two girls turned to her and made some weird faces. "Are you two deaf? I said move!" She added pointing to the pink door that led to the main hallway. "NOW!"

The two girls did what they were told to and left the bathroom, not looking at us.

"Carrie, you have to forget him. He is no good for you" Her lips were in a harsh line. She was dead serious.

"I know, but... I just... I can't."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just can't." I lied.

As hard as it is for me to admit, I do know why I can't forget him. Deep down, I still have high hopes that he might still want me.

It's silly.

He doesn't care about me nor my feelings, he only cares about himself.

I hate how much I care about him. I hate how much he plays with my feelings. He know I still like him, and he acts like he still likes me as well.

But now, seeing him kissing Donna.

Who am I kidding?

He will never like me back. He never did, and never will.

And that's heartbreaking.

I take two steps and I hug Maggie. I can't take this. I am way too confused to even think properly.

Maggie hugs me back.

"Oh, sweetie."

"I... I hate how much I like him." Tears start rolling down my cheeks.

The bathroom door opens and Mouse enters.

"Oh my..." She starts running and hugs me as well.

The three of us stay like that for about two minutes when the bathroom door opens again.

I look at the mirror and see it's Donna and the Jens.

"So then," Donna said "Sebastian picked me up in his por- Oh."

"Go away, Donna." Maggie said.

"Well, excuse me. But this is not a private bathroom. I do believe you girls know that."

The Jens laughed.

Maggie placed her index finger and thumb over her nose, to stop the air from circulating there. "Well, excuse me" She said, trying to do the best voice she could to copy Donna. She wiped one of my tears with her free thumb and let go of me, but Mouse kept hugging me tightly. "I do believe" she approached her "you have your lipstick messed up."

With that said, Maggie rubbed her thumb in her lips, causing Donna's red lipstick to get all over her face due to the fact that her thumb was wet by my tear.

"GHAW!" Donna shouted and slapped Maggie's arm "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

She looked in the mirror and saw her face, causing her to yell. She opened the faucet and tried to remove the lipstick from her face. The blond Jen let out a little grin and Donna turned to her. "Why are you laughing?"

Jen was wearing a pink lipstick and Donna smudged it, just like Maggie did to her.

The other Jen looked to her shoes, trying her best to avoid eye contact with Donna.

"UGH" Donna shouted

Watching all of that made my tears stop. I started laughing.

Maggie was beyond amused and Mouse smiled.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?"

I laughed even harder and my stomach started to ache.

Donna returned to the faucet and splashed water all over me, Maggie and Mouse, yelling, as a form to show us how pissed off she was.

The bathroom door was opened and The Jens gasped.

It was the principle.

Donna was still splashing us with water and we were screaming.

"LEAVE!" she commanded as turned to face the "girl" that she thought it entered the bathroom.

She closed the faucet and smiled politely at the principle, who was crossing his arms.

"Hello, Sir"

- x -

"Okay, let me see if I understood. One day in detention for Carrie, Mouse and The Jens, two for you, and four for Donna?" Walt said, taking a bite of his apple.

"Hmhm"

"Why did you have two days of detention? She was the one acting craaazy"

Maggie snorted.

"He said she provoked Donna." I said.

"But then again, Donna was the one acting crazy." Peter said.

"She should have to clean the bathroom. She wasted water." Mouse said.

It was now 2:12pm and we all have classes at 2:15pm. Mouse and Peter are having chemistry, Walt is having history and me and Maggie are having... Calculus.

Calculus is one of the few classes I have with... Sebastian. So, I'm trying to forget about it, by enjoying the company of my friends.

"How am I going to explain my dad I'm in detention for the afternoon? I mean, I should leave the school and go straight home. He knows my schedule!"

"You are so not going to the prom." Peter said and Maggie shoved him.

"Just tell him you are at my place."

"Doing what?" I raised and eyebrow.

"I don't know. Tell him I broke up with Peter."

"Hey." Peter said loudly. "Why can't I be the one who breaks up?"

"Cause this is my lie, not yours." Maggie rolled her eyes.

"Actually, it-" I tried to say.

"MY lie" Maggie said.

The bell rang, warning us it was time to head to classes. He all said goodbye to eachother and left.

"Are you better?" Maggie asked me while we were climbing the stairs.

"Yes, I am. Thank you for that messed up lipstick." I grin.

"Anytime." She winked.

As we were about to enter the room I realized I forgotten my calculus stuff.

"Oh. I have to go to my locker. I forgot my things there."

"Want me to come with you?"

"Nah, I'll go faster by myself. But thank you."

I ran down the stairs, took the left at the first hallway and the right at the second.

I opened my locker, took out my books and closed it again.

And then I heard a voice next to me.

"Hey, Bradshaw."

_Oh god, no._


	6. Twisted Game

_Thank you MaxRide256 and "Theresa" for your continued support, it means a lot.  
Also, thank you "Mello" for your review._

* * *

**Chapter 6  
Twisted Game**

I opened my locker, took out my books and closed it again.

And then I heard a voice next to me.

"Hey, Bradshaw."

_Oh god, no._

- xx -

I didn't even had to turn to realize it was Sebastian.

I ignored him and tried to make my way to the class, but he grabs my wrist.

"Why are you running away from me?"

"Don't you have a class to be?" I said, turning. "And a girlfriend to please?" I muttered.

"Don't change the subject."

"What subject?" I was trying as hard as I could not to look him in the eye.

"Why are you running away from me?"

"I'm not." I forced myself to smile. "But I need to go to class."

As I am about to sprint out of there, I look down and see that he is still holding my wrist.

"Look, Carrie..." He softens his gaze.

"I'm looking." My lips are starting to sore due to my constant smile.

"I don't know what kind of twisted game you're playing but..."

_WOAH. Now I'm the one who is playing twisted games? That's new._

Out of nowhere I remember Maggie.

_What would Maggie do in this situation? _I think.

"I don't know what kind of twisted game you're playing but..."

"Now you are copying me?"

"Now you are copying me?"

"Look Carrie, I'm serious."

"Look Carrie, I'm serious."

I look up, and my eyes met his. He smiles slightly.

"Two can play this game, Bradshaw."

_Oh god, what have I done..._

Sebastian moves his head to both sides and his smile widen. He grabs my wrist tightly and starts walking.

"Hm, hey? I kind of need to go to class."

"The year it's over, one day won't hurt."

He opens a door and we enter the tiny little room. It has a tiny window, and lots of shelfs with toilet paper, tissues, cleaning material, mops, buckets, ... But the irony is that it smells like dust. It must be the janitor room or something like that.

Sebastian kicks the door shut with his left foot and doesn't take his eyes out of mine.

_This is awkward. Very awkward. I must say something to make this... less awkward?_

"So..." I start. "Are you going to rape me here or something?"

My inner goddess face palms herself for me. This was the worst let's-make-this-situation-less-awkward phrase ever.

"Excuse me?" he raises both his eyebrows.

"Are you going to rape me? " I laugh. "You kind of..." My cheeks turn bright red. _Thank you tiny window, for not letting enough light enter the room._ "Nevermind."

His face looks amused by my incapacity of talking.

He lets go of my wrist.

"Well, thank you. You were cutting my blood circulation." I said rubbing my wrist softly.

_Shut up, Carrie._

_You shut up, conscience._

_Don't you tell me to shut up._

_Don't you tell me to shut up._

_Oh no, not you too. Stop it._

_Stop it._

_Ugh._

_Ugh._

_Carrie._

_Yes?_

_Stop talking to him._

_But I want to._

_But he cheated on you._

_Oh... Right. Thank you for the reminder._

_Anytime._

My smile fades.

_Wait, did I just argue with myself?_

_Yes, you did._

_Oh, shut up._

_You shut up._

_ARGH._

I shake my head and look at him. He is now sitting on the floor, his back against the door. One leg up, one leg down. And one arm in the leg that is up. He is gazing at me amused.

The sunlight doesn't lit the entire room and I almost can't see his expression. But I can see his smile.

"Tell me when you decide to stop staring at me." He says.

"What?"

"I said, tell me when you decide to stop staring at me."

"I am not staring at you."

"You are."

"I am not."

"You are."

"Oh please, not you too!"

"What?" He looks puzzled.

"Nevermind. Private jokes."

I. MUST. NOT. SMILE.

I turn around and spot a table. I walk towards it and sit on it, dropping my bag on the floor, not facing Sexy Sebastian. I mean, Sebastian. Only Sebastian. There is nothing sexy about him.

After a couple of silent minutes I look over my shoulder. He grins at me.

"Stop making that sexy smile. Ugh" I roll my eyes.

I hear him laugh and I hear him stand up.

I hear the noise his shoes make when he walks. He is walking towards me.

I refuse to look to him, and I start to make a plan in case he decides to be too weird.

He moves my hair to the side, and I still refuse to look at him. I can still pretend he is not here.

He moves closer to me, and I feel him breathing on my neck. And that gives me chills.

"What else do you think it's sexy about me?"

"Sexy?" I force myself to laugh "Absolutely nothing." _Is he reading my thoughts? _

"So..." He moves to the side and contours the table until he is in front of me.

_Must. Not. Make. Eye. Contact_. I order myself as I feel the heat coming from my whole face.

"The only thing you think it's sexy about me is my smile?" He smirks and grabs my hand. "Not even" He places my hand on his belly, so that I can feel his toned abs. "this?" he teases.

My soul freezes. Why is he doing this?

"Nothing about you" I say softly "is sexy" I shove him with the hand he placed on his belly.

"You just said my smile was sexy."

"I did not."

"You did. You just said for me to stop making my sexy smile."

"Well, I was obviously lying."

_Did I said it out loud? I WAS SUPPOSED TO THINK THAT, NOT SAY IT. UGH._

"You didn't seem like." He grins.

"I'm a very good actress."

"Sure you are." He winks.

He placed his left foot on the wall and his hands on his pockets. He his wearing regular jeans and a button down brown shirt with a kind of chess print. He is also wearing his black converse.

"Well, I should get going. I have a class to attend, bye!" I stand up and quickly make my way to the door. But he is way to fast and get's in front of me. "hmm, excuse me?"

"Why are you in such rush?" his voice is soft "Don't you feel good, here?"

"I do, but I need to g-"

"Oh, you do?" he teases.

"No."

"You just said you did."

"See, I'm a great actress." I bit my lip.

"So, you don't feel good here?"

"Yes." I say dryly.

"Oh, okay. Let's go somewhere else."

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to."

"So, you do feel good here."

"I never said that."

"It was implied on what you just said."

"You are puzzling me." I roll my eyes.

"Don't I ever?" He grabs my waist softly and turns me. Now, I'm on his place. I was facing him and the door, now, I'm facing him and the table. He pushed me against the door and caged me between it and his body.

"Why are you running away from me?" He is playing with my hair.

He is so close to me, that I can feel the heat in is body. His breath smells like mint.

"I am not." I say, trying to push him. But he is too strong.

He smirks.

"I know you still want me."

I gasp. He is so annoying sometimes. My face is burning with heat.

"I don't." I say firmly.

He leans over, and cups my face with his right hand. His left hand is on the door, a little above my waist line.

_And I am the one playing a twisted game..._

"Look into my eyes" he whispers "and tell me you don't love me anymore."

I look up straight into his gaze. It's so deep it almost hurts.

"I..." I start. "I don't l... I don't..." I sigh and look at my shoes. "I can't."

"You can't? You can't what?"

"I can't say it." I take his hand out of my face with a harsh move. "I can't say it. Happy?" As I said this, I looked to his face. But I quickly looked down at our shoes again. I don't want to face him.

With his index finger, he raised my head, by my chin. His left hand, is now on my back and he pulls me closer to him. He leans over, still with his finger on my chin. He continues to pull me closer.

_Is he really...?_

Sebastian and Donna kissed earlier this afternoon. On Saturday, he was at The Emerald, probably with Lali.

This can't happen again. It can't. And it won't.

Our lips are millimeters apart and I shove him with all my strength.

He was taken by surprise and looks confused by that movement.

"Just because I still like you," I start "doesn't mean I want to stay with you."

I open the door and get out of the room. I leave him behind, and I don't look back. Tears are starting to appear in my eyes. I start running. I don't want anyone to see me. I run up the stairs and lock myself in the bathroom. I take some sheets of toiler paper and clean my face and my eyes.

This is beyond crazy.

Who does he thinks he is?

He dated Donna, dated me, dated Lali while he was _still_ dating me. Made out with her sister. Then, he went to The Emerald with Lali, got back with Donna and now he tried to kiss me?

What is wrong with him?

I resist the urge to scream. Tears keep rolling down my cheeks non-stop.

_This is the second time I'm crying today. Because of him._

What am I doing to myself?

I cleaned my tears and washed my face. In the mirror I couldn't see me. I couldn't see the happy Carrie Bradshaw all my best friends knew.

I could only see a silly Carrie with puffy eyes.

I led my hand to my pockets and searched for money. I could really use a cereal bar from the vending machine, right now. Nothing is better to relieve stress and pain than eating. At least, that is what I think.

I searched all my pockets, but I couldn't even find a dollar. So, I decided to search my purse.

"Crap." I said when I realized I forgot my bag on the little room.

I left the bathroom and went to the little room. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

And there was him.

I wasn't expecting he were still here. I thought he'd left by now.

He was lying on the table, looking at the ceiling. He turned his head to me but said no words.

"I just came here to grab my bag."

And without further ado, I grabbed it and turned to the door again.

"Carrie."

I placed my hand firmly on the door handle.

"I am sorry."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't mean to..." he sighed. "cheat on you."

My eyes widen. He was apologizing and by the tone in his voice I could see he regretted it. But that doesn't change things.

I was holding the handle so tight, my knuckles turned white. I was still not facing him.

"I was selfish" He got up and approached me. "And stupid."

His hands were now placed firmly on my hips.

"I really hope you can forgive me one day." He whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.

I took a deep breath.

"What is wrong with you?" I snapped.

I could feel the strength on his hands disappear.

"You are obviously teasing and flirting with me, and you have a girlfriend!" I turned roughly. He had a sad expression on his face "Was this your plan all along? You act all sorry, to get the girls you want? I'm pretty sure that was the reason you went out with Lali on Saturday. Were you making the same move on her, you just made on me?"

His eyes widened.

"Firstly, I don't have a girlfriend." His lips were now in a straight line. "Secondly, I never talked to Lali after we broke up. And thirdl-"

"Lies. Lies after lies. Don't you ever stop?"

"What do you mean by lies? You think I'm lying? I am not!"

"I saw you and Donna this morning."

"What? That kiss? She is crazy! Yesterday she was breaking up with her boyfriend" he used his index and middle fingers and made quotes signs with them on the word boyfriend "and today she just kissed me out of nowhere. You only see what's convenient to you. I shoved her after. But I guess you didn't saw that."

He was right. I didn't saw it. But I don't even know if that is true or just another lie.

"And you don't believe me." He lowered his eyes. His hands were in his pockets.

I should leave, before this gets worse than it already is. But I can't. My legs don't seem to move.

"Why should I?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"Did you really just said that? I can make a list of reasons, you know."

"What can I do to make you believe me."

"Prove it. Prove me you're not lying." I said.

"How?" he asked, looking at me again.

"That's up to you."

I turned and grabbed the handle again. I took a deep breath and just when I was about to open the door he grabbed my waist with one arm and turned me around. I barely had time to breath when he leaned over and kissed me. My eyes were wide open.

I wasn't dreaming this time.

I couldn't think properly. My heart was telling me to close my eyes, wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss him back. But my head was telling me to kick him in the middle of his legs and leave.

I couldn't decide whether I wanted to kiss him or leave, but I didn't have to, because he broke the kiss.

His other hand trailed up to my cheek and he placed his forehead on mine. Waiting for me to break the silence and say something.

And I know, it's now or never.

Will I take him back? Or not?

I placed a hand on his chest and closed my eyes.

"You know?" I said. The palms of my hand started to get wet by the sweat.

I took a deep deep breath. Now or never.

I shoved him.

"A kiss doesn't prove shit."

I turned, opened the door and left.

With my index and middle finger on my lips, I walked around the hallways for a while.

I leaned my back against a wall when my knees lost their strength to hold my body in place and I sat on the floor.

No tears running down my cheeks. No emotions showing. I just sat there looking at my shoes. For a long long time. Not thinking, not crying. I just sat there.

* * *

I know, I know. This chapter was dramatic. But I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Don't forget to review x


	7. Detention

I am so sorry for this late update. I recently started another story, about the Divergent Trilogy and I'm having so many ideas I can't stop writing.

**Note:** Carrie is a little OOC in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 7**  
**Detention**

I hear the school bell ringing, stating the end of fourth period.

I am still on the floor, right next to the room Maggie was having class.

"Oh god, Carrie!" she says when she sees me. "Why didn't you come back to class?"

I look up, but say nothing.

She kneels next to me.

"Carr-" before she can finish her sentence I pull her into a hug. She hugs me back.

"What happened?" she asks, after a couple of minutes.

"Sebastian happened." I say dryly.

"You missed a class because of him? That must have been serious! What happened exactly?"

"He found me when I was in my locker and we went to the supply room and talked a little. But he started being a jerk and asked me if I still liked him. I said I didn't and he made me say it. I couldn't so I freaked out. He tried to kiss me, but I didn't let him and I ran away. And then, I felt like eating a cereal bar and I realised I had forgotten my purse in the room, so I went back and he was there and he apologized for everything he did to me, like the cheating. We cleared up some stuff and when I was about to leave he kissed me." I breath. I didn't even realized I was holding my breath. I snort. "Like kissing would make everything better between us." I roll my eyes.

"What a little piece of shit."

"Whom I happen to love."

"He is still shit."

I nod.

"So, technically, because of him, today, you got into detention and skipped a class."

I nod.

"I am going to kill him!" She yells, a little too loud.

The bell rings again.

"Well," I get up. "Time for detention."

"Call your dad, and tell him you are at my house." she says, also getting up.

My dad. My dad! I completely forgot about him! I am so not going to the prom after this. But after this whole Sebastian thing, I wasn't in the mood to go anyways.

"I'll deal with him later. Tell Walt I am sorry."

"Walt?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Yes. After this, I am obviously not going to the prom."

She blinks a couple of times.

"I am not going either." Maggie says putting his right arm around my left arm.

"What about Peter?"

"Bros before hoes?"

"I am not a dude..."

"So then, hm... Chicks before dicks!" she snaps her fingers.

I crack a smile.

"Nice to see you smiling again." she grins and hugs me.

- x -

"Please, Mr. Jones I'll do an extra research." Mouse begs to our detention teacher, trying to get out of detention.

"Miss Thompson, please take a sit." The teacher says.

"I'll do two extra researches!"

Mr. Jones points at a chair next to mine.

She sits and buries her face in her hands.

"My parents are going to kill me." She says. "How will I explain this to them?"

"Just tell them you are at my place." Maggie says.

"With what excuse?"

"Doing research for our last project?"

"Do you have 3 dollars?"

I give her two dollars and Maggie giver her one.

"Mr. Jones, may I go to the bathroom?"

"You are in detention. You can't leave the room."

"But I really need to." she begs. "I promise I won't say another word during the next hour."

Mr. Jones eyes suddenly widen.

"Yes, you may go. Take your time."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She squeals.

Donna is in the back of the room with the two Jens.

She gets up slowly, and starts walking towards Mr. Jones desk.

The room is silent, and I can only hear her heels, when she takes each step.

"Can I go to the bathroom as well?" she asks.

"No. Go back to your seat, please." He says dryly.

"I won't bother you again until the end of the hour."

"Go back to your seat, Miss LaDonna."

"End of the days of detentions?"

"I said, go back to your seat. Otherwise, I'll have to call the principle."

"But she w-"

"Miss LaDonna."

"UGH" she yells, turning around and going back to her seat.

Maggie laughs.

"What are you laughing about?" Donna says dryly.

Maggie opens her mouth, ready to snap something back.

"Silence!" Mr. Jones screams.

We all hear a knock on the door and all our eyes turn to it.

Sebastian comes in the room.

"I am sorry for being late. Personal issues." he says to Mr. Jones.

"Just take a seat." Mr. Jones says, trying as much as he can not to roll his eyes.

He looks at me and quickly looks away.

Donna calls him to sit next to her, but he walks towards the chair by my side.

"Taken." I say as I put my purse in the chair.

He takes the purse and places it in the floor.

"Your purse doesn't count as a person." he says.

I grab my purse and my stuff and get up, taking a seat behind the pierced guy next to Maggie.

Mr. Jones look at us, but doesn't says anything.

Mouse returns and take the seat I took earlier.

"Where is Carrie?" She asks Maggie.

Maggie points at me, and Mouse frowns.

She does that everytime she wonders something.

I glance at Sebastian and she says "oh", before pressing her lips into a line and turning to the front again.

- x -

"Where have you been?" My dad asks when I arrive home.

"With Maggie" I say, climbing the stairs.

"I called her house, her mother told me none of you were there." He says, following me.

Controlling much?

"We weren't at her house."

"Where then?"

"School."

"Doing?"

Jeez!

"A PROJECT!" I say before slamming my door.

"CARRIE!" he yells.

I don't answer.

"CARRIE." he says entering my room.

"Carrie, we talked about this earlier this morning." he says calmly.

Actually we didn't. You did all the talking. And it was about boys in my room. Not arriving home late when I'm grounded. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"I fell like I don't know you anymore."

Did you ever knew me at all?

"I fell like I am losing you. Is everything alright?"

No.

It isn't.

My life is turning upside down.

"Yes. I am just under stress. Me, Maggie and Mouse have a huge project due tomorrow. It's the last of the year."

"Look, Carrie. I care about you and your grades. But you can't be acting like that just because of some project."

"It's a huge project."

"Ca-"

"Dad, it's the project okay? We completely forgot about it. I am afraid we won't be able to finish it on time."

"That's not like you. You have never forgotten about a project until now."

"There is a first time for everything."

He frowns. He didn't like the comment.

"It's just the project, okay dad?" I pick up some random books about biology and plants out of my bookshelf. "Now, I need to finish my part."

My dad nods and leaves. And as he opens the door I see Dorrit right next to the door, listening to our conversation.

"Just mind you own business, Dorrit." I roll my eyes.

She enters the room and closes the door.

"There is no such thing as a project due tomorrow. I don't know how dad believed that. Can I use your excuse next year?"

"Just leave. I am not in the mood."

"That boy, Sebastian, is really messing with your head."

I give her a death glare.

"Do I need to spell it?" I say harshly. "Leave!"

"Fine, fine." she says leaving.

* * *

Yes, I know. Not one of my best chapters.  
Carrie is a little OOC in this chapter, and I know you guys know why.  
This thing about Sebastian is really messing with her head!  
Review!

liv x


	8. Nostalgy

**Thank you so much Hecamagic for your review, you saved this story x  
I was thinking about deleting it.**

**This chapter is small, very small. It has less than 600 words. But I needed it to be short.  
I didn't want to make it big, but I didn't want to make it this short.**

**Anyways, enjoy x**

* * *

**Chapter 8**  
**Nostalgy**

I barely ate dinner and I couldn't sleep yesterday night.

I lay in my bed facing my window, thinking.

I was way to harsh on my father yesterday, he has no fault that I am going through these teenager problems. And now, my chance of going to the prom is ruined.

Yesterday, before dinner, I called Maggie. I needed someone to hear me and my thoughts. She told me I should go to the prom and have fun, Sebastian free. And maybe, just maybe, having fun without him is what I really need. And in order to go to the prom, I need to ask my father.

"Hey dad?" I say when I arrive at the living room. He is on the couch, reading a newspaper. He glances away from the paper and at me, but says nothing. I take a sit next to him. "I am sorry about yesterday... I-I was under lots of stress. I'm just a 17 year old girl, I don't really know how to deal with stress. I should have been rude to you... nor Dorrit... And I apologize about it."

I get up and clean my hands to my pyjama bottom. He closes the newspaper, folds it and gets up as well.

"I get that you have been under stress, but you have to learn how to control and reduce it. You aunt, once bought a white notebook. When she was under stress she would open it and write, draw, paint... She'd do every possible thing to do on a notebook. And it worked."

A notebook? I don't know how to draw, but I sure know and love how to write! I could get one and talk about what I am feeling and thinking at those stress moments. Like a journal.

"Can I ask you a favor?" I say shyly and my father nods his head yes. "Can you buy me a notebook?" I smile slighty.

"You know what..." He starts moving towards my mom closet. He open it and I inhale deeply. I miss this smell, I miss my mom. She'd know what to do in this situation. She'd tell to do a sleepover party with my friends and stay up all night. But of course that my father doesn't let me do that. I take a look around the closet and smile at the thought of my mom in this closet in the morning. Choosing her outfit in her towel after her bath. She was so pretty. I wish I looked like her. I'd follow her through the house until she made breakfast and I'd be in awe each time she opened these cream doors. And when she closed them she'd always tell me, "One day, you'll have a bigger closet than mine" and smile.

He open a few draws, takes a couple of books and hands them to me. "Keep those. They belonged to you mother." I look at them, but don't take them. "Carrie. It's okay, she'd want you to have them." I reach my hand foward slowly like if I knew that if I touched them my hand would burn. I finally take them, take them to my chest and hug tightly.

Then, I did something I was not used to do. I step foward and hugged my father.

"Thank you." I murmured to him.


End file.
